<self-wurth, noun: The sense of one’s own value or worth as a person; self esteem; self respect>
How many of us have questioned this? More importantly, how many of us have allowed others to determine this for us? I cannot count how many conversations I’ve had with women about this particular topic and the struggles that are often times associated with it.
First of all, let me ask you this: Do you know WHOSE child you are? Take a minute and really think about the magnitude of that question.
My whole life I’ve had a very strong sense of #selfworth (I’ve also definitely had my moments) and it’s created such a passion in me to help others that are struggling with theirs. It absolutely kills me when I see women allowing themselves to accept less than they deserve. Whether it’s being lied to, cheated on, walked all over, abused (physically/emotionally/verbally/mentally), taken advantage of, belittled, I can go on and on…I understand that #selfworth is not something that comes naturally for everyone and often times is a lifetime battle. But again I ask, Do you know WHOSE child you are?
I was talking with a friend years ago and we were discussing her current relationship and the break-up/make-up pattern they had. This man had been both physically and verbally abusive to her yet she continually went back to him. I couldn’t help but wonder and ask WHY?? Why would you ever allow someone to treat you like this?? Her answer broke my heart, “I think I’m just used to being treated like shit – my dad treated me like shit and it’s just what I’m used to.” I wish in that moment I had asked her, Do you know WHOSE child you are?
This conversation had such a profound effect on me because I knew there were so many other women just like her. Women who had let others determine how they would be treated and talked to, who let others make them an option versus making them a priority, who let others make them feel unworthy and powerless. When this happens we’re allowing other people to determine our #selfworth versus us knowing and owning it. Once you reclaim ownership of it you will in turn reclaim your power. What’s stopping you from taking back your power?
We all have issues, we’ve all gone through things and they affect us all differently. I want to focus on the issues that can grow from our issues if we don’t deal with or acknowledge them. My friend had let the way her dad treat her determine how she would allow other men to treat her, even though she knew deep down it wasn’t right. I had another friend whose mother never made her feel “good enough,” she was constantly criticizing and belittling her. This friend eventually ended up in a marriage with a partner that made her feel very similar to the way her mother did. We are creatures of habit therefore we often end up repeating our same patterns. What unhealthy patterns do you need to break? It is so important for us to make peace with our past so that we can release ourselves from those chains. Most times we’re not strong enough to break those chains on our own – but HE is. Again, Do-you-know-WHOSE-child-you-are?
If you truly understood WHOSE child you were, you would never question your value or worth nor would you ever allow anyone else to.
Jeremiah 1:5 “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”
- God knew you long before you were born or even conceived. He thought about you and planned for you. When you feel disconnected or inadequate, remember that God has always thought of you as valuable and that he has a purpose in mind for you.
Whenever I’ve had discussions with women about worth, or lack of, I bring up scripture. I think I feel if you’re able to truly understand WHOSE child you actually are and the magnitude in which you are loved and valued, then maybe – just maybe you might start believing it. I think about how God thought each one of us out so intricately and carefully – we are his masterpiece.
I always say “I know what I bring to the table,” and it sounds so silly but there is such power in it. When you know what you bring to ANY table you sit at you will reject when anything less than you deserve is being served. When love, respect and honesty are no longer being served, you won’t think twice about removing yourself – because you’ll know you are #worthy of ALL those things and more. But before you sit at any table with anyone, please make sure you’re okay with sitting alone first.
If you’re in a situation today where you are questioning your self worth or value because of insecurity, rejection, loss, heartbreak, loneliness, etc., please remind yourself of the #power you possess within. Please remind yourself that you are God’s Child and that you are so worthy, loved and valued because that is how he formed and created you.
