LOVE in the New Year

Are you someone looking for love in the New Year? Are you even considering thinking about finding love in 2018?? Great! Please proceed…

(If you happen to be someone who’s already found love I encourage you to read this as well. I feel it’s something that anyone at any stage or walk of life can relate to.)

A lot of times the start of the New Year creates this sense of hope, hence the whole “New Year, New Me” attitude. One thing a lot of people hope for is love: they hope to find it – hope to keep it – hope to experience some form of it.

This is when dating sites start pushing their special promotions so the “new you” can find your “new love” for the New Year.

I’m absolutely not against looking for or finding love in the New Year, but my hope is that we could start with ourselves. So much time and energy are spent on dating and appealing to the opposite sex that we forget to appeal to ourselves.

According to social media, it definitely looks like we all love ourselves….like a lot. Especially when we throw in the #selflove #loveyourselfie #lovemyself, and about a dozen other hashtags proclaiming our self-love to the world.

But do we?

I’m not asking if we really love the perfectly cropped/filtered pictures on our Instagram because clearly, we do. I’m asking if we really truly love ourselves?

I’m talking about in the quiet moments when we’re alone and there’s no filter…

Do you feel peace?
Do you feel love?
Do you feel whole?

We have to give these things to ourselves before we could ever expect or give them to another. So often we view another person as the “missing piece” that will complete us. The “piece” that will be the provider of these qualities and ultimately our happiness.

The truth is, we lack nothing. There’s no “missing piece” within us to begin with.

you’re in the habit
of co-depending
on people to
make up for what
you think you lack

who tricked you
into believing
another person
was meant to complete you
when the most they can do is complement

– Rupi Kaur

How do we get this so backwards?

After experiencing heartbreak for the first time I remember questioning if I would ever feel normal again – if I would ever feel happiness again?

The pain I was in caused me to question everything about myself. I was so unkind to myself during that period, I told myself things I would never tell another human being.

the way you speak of yourself
the way you degrade yourself
into smallness
it’s abuse

– Rupi Kaur

Many of us abuse ourselves daily but have become numb to it. We preach of our “self-love,” our standards and expectations – all the while wondering if we’re actually enough?

You are.
You are.
You are.

At the beginning of this post, I encouraged those who had already found love to read this as well. Just because we’re in a relationship doesn’t mean we necessarily love ourselves. Many times in relationships we can feel like we’ve lost ourselves – lost our identity as an individual.

Make your well being a priority in 2018: Love yourself (in a healthy way) – be kind to yourself – heal yourself.

‘I love myself.’
the quietest.
simplest.
most.
powerful.
revolution.
ever.
-nayyirah waheed

*** (If you’re looking for reading material regarding this subject matter I HIGHLY encourage you to pick up “A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of a Course in Miracles,” by Marianne Willamson.) ***