4 Things On Social Media…

Fellas, any women that are considering dating you are gonna look at 4 things on your social media…

1. Who you follow
2. What you like
3. What you post
4. Who comments on your page and what they say

I posted this on my Instagram story on Monday, along with a poll asking true or false?

73% responded True
27% responded False

Out of the 40 people who voted False, 30 of them were men.

My personal vote on this was/is TRUE.

Although the majority of voters agreed, I received several messages and had multiple conversations over the last couple of days with those who didn’t agree.

Those who were against it felt the idea of judging someone off their social media was unfair, I agreed. Social media is merely a filtered snapshot of someone’s life. It’s not real life, it doesn’t tell the whole story.

However, when I look at these 4 factors I’m not “judging” them off their social media, I’m more so looking into their interactions, the way they talk and communicate with others, their likes and interests, etc.

So let’s break all 4 things down a little more:

 

1. Who You Follow

Sometimes I’m genuinely curious as to who we know or have in common as far as mutual friends. IG has made that a lot easier by adding a “followed by” section in the bio. It definitely goes beyond that for me, I’ll click on who you’re actually “Following” and scroll through.

One of the main things I look for is Instagram ‘Models.’ I know I’ve previously blogged about “Instagram Models and Relationships,” and so my stance on this is very similar. I’m personally turned off when I see a guy following dozens of Instagram ‘Models.’ Now if you’re a DJ or in the type of industry where it’s just part of the business, I totally get it – but if you’re John who works 9-5 at the bank – that’s a different story.

I want someone who doesn’t have enough time to waste scrolling through pictures of half-naked women online. More than anything, I don’t just want a loyal partner, I want faithful eyes. Yes, you can admire someone’s beauty, but don’t lust after it – there’s a difference.

2. What You Like

Right next to your notifications on IG you can swipe right (“Following”) and see what other people are up to. When I’m dating/involved with someone I definitely pay attention to this tab and take notes.

In a previous relationship, I noticed my partner and his friends were always tagging each other in different Instagram ‘Model’ posts. I felt like it was a game between them to see who could find the “sexiest,” then share it with the group. It was a group of grown adult men, all either married with kids or in serious relationships – I didn’t get it. I knew I wasn’t ok with this, but I didn’t want to be “that” girlfriend. So I said nothing.

This was a red flag I should’ve paid more attention to.

“As we gain confidence in ourselves, red flags are no longer red flags. They are deal breakers.” – Mandy Hale

I didn’t want to have to say something about it, I wanted my partner to respect me and our relationship enough to say something on behalf of both of us. This would be another red flag that would later lead to deeper issues in that particular relationship. I’ve since realized that I absolutely should’ve communicated my thoughts, feelings, and concerns more with my partner at the time.

3. What You Post

Is it sexist? Misogynistic? Disrespectful? Petty? Do you engage in online drama? Do you post 72 gym selfies (#icant).

What are some of your interests? Do we have anything in common?

This definitely comes down to personal preferences in this particular area.

4. Who Comments on Your Page and What They Say

This is very similar to #3: Is it sexist? Misogynistic? Disrespectful? Etc.

How flirty are you? How do you speak with your friends?

 

I’m not saying these 4 social media factors tell you everything you need to know about a person, not at all. The original statement was:

Fellas, any women that are considering dating you are gonna look at 4 things on your social media…

1. Who you follow
2. What you like
3. What you post
4. Who comments on your page and what they say

These are merely social media observations I personally make when I have the slightest interested in someone. It’s not necessarily a deal breaker, but it does play a heavy influence.

I have nothing against Instagram ‘Models’ – I’m not in a relationship with them – do your thing girl. I don’t have an issue with social media and relationships. I’ve had relationships where it’s never been a problem or an issue, it’s all about how you use it.

“Social media doesn’t kill relationships, it merely reveals the lack of discipline in couples who use it.” – @gentlemanhood

At the end of the day, we all want someone that will choose us like we choose them – that will put in the work, and make the necessary sacrifices to protect “US.”